Hilarious horoscopes and love matches from the UK! http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com Tue, 01 May 2012 15:41:34 +0100 http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/images/title-tiny.gif http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=1 Mars has aligned with Mercury which could spell a financial crisis. That means it's time to stock up on the duck feathers... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=2 Times are about to get tough. Your Aunt isnt too pleased about you setting fire to her underpants and replacing her teeth... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=3 Unsettled transactions can be resolved by painting yourself with glow in the dark paint and throwing turnip gravy at your... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=4 The lunar node will enter the 4th house which could mean an increase in oranges in your life. Should you meet any homeless... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=5 Producing musical instruments from your stomach will likely cause tension with any wombats who may be living in your garden.... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=6 Mercury is currently exalted which means it will be a lot harder to shove apple peel and pretzels your nose. This is just... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=7 Jupiter is retrograding which means you should be aware of your mother-in-law turning up this week and quacking like a duck.... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=8 Lathering your arms with horse manure will not reverse the current negative effects of Pluto. Perhaps alternative strategy... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=9 Saturn's rays are still in effect but you could face serious problems if you were to encounter a tap-dancing vampire cat.... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=10 Try to take things a little easy. Do not wear a dress made from potato skins and then set your hair on fire and then run... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=11 Venus is aspecting Uranus which means melons are in season. Although these are a good substitute for ground coffee you can... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=12 As Neptune continues its lucky streak it's advisable to try and avoid covering yourself with feathers and clucking like a...