Hilarious horoscopes and love matches from the UK! http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:21:08 +0100 http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/images/title-tiny.gif http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=1 Today you will find out that your hair is extremely flammable and you can no longer wear pants made from orange peel. Baboons... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=2 The powerful influence of Venus may speed up the growth of your nasal hairs. You may catch scabies from a healthy orang-utan... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=3 Your Uncle's scalp is missing because you attached flashing pumpkins to your eyes and disguised yourself as a silkworm. This... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=4 An unexpected visitor may give you cardboard. Do not wrap a pair of striped tights round your head and then boil your foot... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=5 Communications are friendly and affectionate this week so it might be wise not to look at your reflection in silver paper... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=6 By next week, your life's direction will turn - prepare yourself mentally for a holographic dog. He may be living in your... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=7 The recent new moon could spell disaster for any financial goals you've set within the last week. Write your name on a block... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=8 Times are changing! Your current place of residence is preventing you from wearing false beards. Its time to pack your bags,... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=9 You've been stapling wooden planks to your left foot during the last 3 days. You haven't the slightest idea what's really... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=10 Stay focused on your goals. Your ultimate aim in life is to swallow a live squid whilst dancing like a chimpanzee. You can... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=11 Things are looking pretty bad. Perhaps painting obscene symbols on your forehead is not the best way to entertain guests... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=12 Beware - Pluto is feeling rather mischievous! That bitchy nemesis of yours is planning stuff tennis balls in your mouth whilst...