Hilarious horoscopes and love matches from the UK! http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com Thu, 21 May 2009 14:22:50 +0100 http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/images/title-tiny.gif http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=1 Have you learned to recognize your true identity? If a unicorn crapped out a dozen alien egg would you know the square root... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=2 In many ways, you are vulnerable to giant wooden storks. You should cease vomiting in paper bags and selling them as sex... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=3 There are many things to consider when empowering your inner self. One of them would be to adopt a pineapple and teach it... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=4 Don't miss out on opportunities to take control. Heckling goldfish for cheese dip doesn't count. You need to do something... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=5 There are certain things in life which we must all be prepared for. A chimpanzee may break wind in a plastic bag and offer... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=6 The next few months could be critical for you. Find time to detach your limbs and fossilize them. A lot of small burrowing... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=7 Seek out gratitude in your life. Be sure to slap your Dad with a giant jellyfish and thank him for the basket of kumquats... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=8 There will be moments of joy and you will undoubtedly feel like performing a hysterectomy on a plastic giraffe. You may even... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=9 You may wake up at any moment to discover that your left foot is made from bacon and aluminum foil. Just look on the bright... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=10 For some reason, you will find the word “Sperm Whale” extremely hilarious. Try and avoid replacing your hip bones with lemon... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=11 You feel you have been leading a different recently. Stuff plenty of Epsom salts up your nostrils to avoid being mugged... http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/display-horoscope.php?id=12 A sense of struggle lies ahead. Find yourself the finest bucket of squids and pour them over neighbor's dog. This is an...